Post by stubbies on Nov 30, 2009 15:36:46 GMT -8
Figured I'd put in a quick explanation of the life, death, and revival of my computer.
The sad soul died on November 11, 2009 while conducting a routine virus scan. In the middle of said scan, he suddenly shut off and when reawakened fell into an infinite restart loop. Every time he tried to load Windows XP, his face would turn blue and he'd reset. Even his safe mode, the equivalent of a start-up condom, would leave him blue in the face. I pushed every button imaginable in my attempt to revive him, but alas I could not bring him back.
So I brought him to the doctor, an on-campus UCR computer junkie who lives in the bowels of the UCR bookstore. He said $40 if he could fix it, nothing if he can't. A fair man he was, but little did I know that he, too would be defeated...
He received the computer on Friday. All weekend the junkie labored on the revival of my poor computer. He sold his kid into slavery so that he could buy another virus scan to run, another wire to connect, another processor to run it through...on and on and on until father time took hold, Tuesday came around and he was still unsuccessful.
The junkie returned my computer, utterly defeated. He had slain virus after virus, but still there was nothing left.
I was without hope...until I learned of a man named Frank.
Frank was a member of the notorious Geeks On Call service, an extremely expensive yet highly effective computer revival service. Frank was not mortal - he summoned God's hand upon my poor computer, and God himself was able to take mercy on my computer's soul. Frank explained that in trying to save my computer, I had actually killed it. An intelligent virus had lodged itself so deep within my computers brain that it had latched onto a series of system files. As I smote the virus he kamikazed into the system file, taking it along with him. It was a form of mutual destruction.
Then, with a lightning bolt from the heavens, lava boiling from the earth, 265 dollars and 2.5 hours time he managed to revive my computer.
The virus was dead.
My computer's files were still there, but unfortunately the crack was too.
Let's hope he maintains a better diet in the future. I need him to live another 6 months...
The sad soul died on November 11, 2009 while conducting a routine virus scan. In the middle of said scan, he suddenly shut off and when reawakened fell into an infinite restart loop. Every time he tried to load Windows XP, his face would turn blue and he'd reset. Even his safe mode, the equivalent of a start-up condom, would leave him blue in the face. I pushed every button imaginable in my attempt to revive him, but alas I could not bring him back.
So I brought him to the doctor, an on-campus UCR computer junkie who lives in the bowels of the UCR bookstore. He said $40 if he could fix it, nothing if he can't. A fair man he was, but little did I know that he, too would be defeated...
He received the computer on Friday. All weekend the junkie labored on the revival of my poor computer. He sold his kid into slavery so that he could buy another virus scan to run, another wire to connect, another processor to run it through...on and on and on until father time took hold, Tuesday came around and he was still unsuccessful.
The junkie returned my computer, utterly defeated. He had slain virus after virus, but still there was nothing left.
I was without hope...until I learned of a man named Frank.
Frank was a member of the notorious Geeks On Call service, an extremely expensive yet highly effective computer revival service. Frank was not mortal - he summoned God's hand upon my poor computer, and God himself was able to take mercy on my computer's soul. Frank explained that in trying to save my computer, I had actually killed it. An intelligent virus had lodged itself so deep within my computers brain that it had latched onto a series of system files. As I smote the virus he kamikazed into the system file, taking it along with him. It was a form of mutual destruction.
Then, with a lightning bolt from the heavens, lava boiling from the earth, 265 dollars and 2.5 hours time he managed to revive my computer.
The virus was dead.
My computer's files were still there, but unfortunately the crack was too.
Let's hope he maintains a better diet in the future. I need him to live another 6 months...
